In 1993 I married Paul and we had two children but by 2000 our marriage began to go wrong. After a while we realised that Paul was suffering with depression. We went to the doctor’s together hoping that after he had got treatment our marriage would come right. Ten days after he started his antidepressants he was killed in a motorcycle accident. I was left feeling devastated and very guilty that we hadn’t resolved our marriage problems. I think the guilt manifested itself in a huge negativity in my life—I was just negative about everything.
About a year later I met Rolf (you can read his story too) and I felt that there was something different about him. I couldn’t put my finger on it. It was early days. After a time I realised that he was a Christian, although he hadn’t been going to church for quite a while. As we started to get closer he suggested that we might find a church together. We did go for a while but didn’t really settle. After we got married in 2004 we decided to go to South Africa.
It was whilst we were there that Rolf again suggested that we try and find a church. I could have taken it or left it but the church we joined was an absolute joy. As I started to let the services mean more to me and I started to feel things. I joined a ladies’ group and realised that the Bible had so much to say to everyday life. Every time we went to church, it was about something that had happened to me during the week. I thought that’s weird. But as things came together I started to feel more positive.
We went to a church camp and I was prayed for to receive the Holy Spirit. I had an overwhelming sense of forgiveness. The guilt was gone. I don’t think I had ever felt so peaceful. I haven’t looked back since that day.
The hard part was coming back to the UK but my family have been supportive. I pray that the lives of my family will be touched by God just like mine was.
Karen explains how negative patterns of thinking have changed, and the distance yet to go.